From the Outside Looking In
Have you ever had the feeling that you are on the outside looking in? That certain opportunities, fields, or activities were simply not tailored to your abilities, leaving those accomplishments for others to experience as you applaud them from afar? This sentiment I used to have has been challenged more than ever, and here is how.
I have always been confident in myself to speak up, to take advantage of opportunities that will gear me towards success and to embrace challenges that I know I can win. I will repeat that statement: “challenges that I know I can win.” When self-assured in my ability to succeed, the possibilities are endless, and the limitations that surround me seem to fade away. However, when there is discomfort or the slightest belief that I am not capable of doing something perfectly, I tend to not participate, declaring it’s not for me. The Ted Talk “Teach girls bravery, not perfection” by the author Reshma Saujani, opened my eyes to the fabricated lie I was believing about myself: If I could not do something perfectly, I could not do it at all.
In her talk, she expounds on her research behind why women, like me, tend to gravitate towards careers or accomplishments they know they can do perfectly because most girls are taught to avoid risk and failure. From smiling pretty, to playing it safe and getting all A’s, she explains that there is a bravery deficit in our girl’s education that needs to change now.
This will only be accomplished if done so one girl at a time, therefore I have identified and challenged the three lies I believed due to my lack of first attempt perfection:
I am not a poet
I am not a runner
I am not a math person
Because of past rejections, or defeats, I grew to believe these statements, telling myself that perhaps these things were simply not for me. I identify directly with what Reshma Saujani said:
“there is a fear of not getting it right, fear of not getting it perfect.”
And that is exactly what I was going through. Never lacking motivation or familiar support, I still recurred to these thoughts. Luckily, this semester I grew aware of my false claims, pushing myself to overcome each of them with bravery.
I am not a poet
Writing has been a passion of mine ever since I was a young girl. Sitting in my grandmother’s kitchen on Monday afternoons as we played with words, is my first memory of this past time I continue to enjoy. As I grew, it never left my side, always reading and appreciating this beautiful art. Recognized in my own high school contests, I decided to give bigger poetry competitions a try. The response: Rejections and rejections. One “NO” after the other led me to shut out the possibility of being able to confidently share my work with others.
My brave act: This past summer I applied to the UT Creative Writing Certificate in the poetry track. Turns out, they saw a potential in me I no longer felt, turning my belief upside down. I continue to feel vulnerable in the learning settings this course has brought me through, but I am eager for what is to come, embracing the exciting discomfort that comes with it.
I am not a runner
My talent for dancing was greater than my athletic abilities, especially those that required long runs. Running was an activity I did not enjoy, therefore believing I could not do it. I enjoy exercise classes, but there is something about the monotonous movement running entails that I could not find the stamina to accomplish. I saw so many people enjoy it. Daily runs with beautiful views, and I wanted to be part of it, I just thought I couldn’t.
My brave act: I signed up for the Race: “Run the Water” by the Gazelle Foundation that took place in Downtown Austin, Texas on November 3rd. The profits of this event go to communities in Burundi that need access to clean water. I used this mission statement to motivate myself to participate, helping others and myself through this race. I pushed myself to prepare a bit in advance, determined to run at least part of it. And I did! Not the best timing, not the first place, but the decision to do something I did not see myself being capable of before was the goal.
I am not a math person
Calculators and rulers were never my close friends. When it came to math, it was my least favorite subject. Numbers took me longer to process, leading me to suppose that we were not meant for each other. I used to acknowledge this part of me, knowing I just had to work a little harder at it than my other classes, but never truly enjoying it. I really thought after going into Social Work and Entrepreneurship, my number days were over; little did I know my major required both math and research courses.
My brave act: To fulfill my requirements, I decided to take statistics and research in the same semester, believing they would fit well, and the torture would be quickly over. TO MY SURPRISE, I am doing awesome in both of them! Finally giving numbers a second chance and being open-minded even landed me a spot on an amazing Research Team I truly love. (Never say never!)
Reshma Saujani’s Ted Talk taught me to be comfortable with my imperfection, knowing that I can always learn from my experiences and grow. In the midst of uncertainty, I was able to find satisfaction in the imperfection I feared before. What may be seen as small tasks to others, were true turning points for brave me. I am lucky to have a great support system that helped motivate me through these all. At least for today, I would like to be the same for you. To any reader out there, I invite you to think about the lies you believe about your abilities, leaving you with this last thought: If you had the bravery to do anything in the world, what would you be doing? Then go do it, because you are capable, because you can.
Until next time we connect,
Maria de los Angeles Villarreal
TEDxUTAustin
About the Writer
Maria is a second year Social Work major at the University of Texas at Austin. She grew up living in a border town and came to Austin for college. Alongside watching TED Talks, Maria also loves traveling, writing, and teaching Zumba every Wednesday at the Rec Center! Fun fact about Maria: One of her tweets was quoted by Jimmy Fallon!
Me after statistics class, heading to my poetry class, wearing my well-deserved Run for the Water Race t-shirt! Yay!